Raising Saints in Troubled Times
By James Chandler, MD FRCPC
Prologue
What
are we trying to accomplish when we raise our children?
truly, building up the church
getting our children to heaven
drawing others to Christ
in a word, making saints
Isn’t
that a little much: Do we have to make
saints?
Instability of moderate Catholicism at present
Trying to raise mildly catholic children won’t work in anti-catholic
times
In catholic friendly times, the forces against Catholicism
were weak, and so a faith could be sustained with little effort
In anti-catholic times, the forces against the church are
great, and require a formidable faith.
Thus a mild faith will be blown away
This battle of forces is not just a
spiritual combat, but a physical and intellectual war that must be fought
everyday.
Can’t
we rely on our faith alone to save us?
- Faith
alone – sacraments, devotions, catechesis, mass, prayer
- Works
alone- limiting media, stable homes, loving families, good neighborhoods,
knowledge of development, charitable works
- The
good pagan family will stay pagan
- The privately catholic family will have a pitiful faith life that will not endure another generation
- A faith that does not battle
- The
family where faith leads to work will stay catholic
Is
our culture really that anti-catholic?
Governments pass anti-Catholic laws
Institutions and companies do not allow Catholics to follow
Catholic teachings
Schools teach our state religion, Buddhism, and warp history
to eliminate the church
Media promote values which are not Catholic
Sexual and Family morals are not Catholic.
What can be done?
Using the first few
chapters of Matthew and Luke as a framework, we will reflect on these themes
through the lenses of Developmental Psychology, Neuroscience, Psychiatry, and
of course, the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
The
battle begins early: Raising saints begins long before conception.
RSV version
Luke 1:5 In the days of Herod, king
of
Modern version:
Elizabeth
and Zechari'ah
loved each other very much
To raise children like John the Baptist to be a saint, you need to be firm
in your faith for years beforehand.
Would Elizabeth and Zechari'ah be
acceptable foster parents?
It never mentioned that they loved each other. What does our
culture tell us perfect parents would be?
Healthy, young,
financially stable, madly in love
RSV version
and many will rejoice at his birth; for he will be great before the Lord, and
he shall drink no wine nor strong drink,and he will
be filled with the Holy Spirit,
even from his mother's womb. And he will turn many of the sons of
Modern Version:
The angel told Zechari'ah that you
are going to have a healthy baby boy who is just adorable. He is going to turn
out just fine and not give you much trouble. When he grows up, he is going to
be a successful priest just like you, Zechari'ah.
What
is it that the angels want to tell us about our soon to be born children?
v
Even though you will be dedicating him to God,
you will be happy
v Nothing is so countercultural as to think our children aren’t ours.
v
He is
going to come in power-
v
This power which comes from God has two aims,
and the first is to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,
v
This isn’t a new problem. Before Gabriel talks
of anything else that John the Baptist will do- justice, repentance, preparing
the way- he is talking about selfish fathers.
v
Never does it say that John the Baptist is going
to be happy, healthy, live a long life, sane, or successful.
v
It does say that this child will be doing the
work God has given him.
v
Raising saints means the same thing as becoming
saints from conception, that is
v
We empty ourselves to God’s will to become holy
v
If we do not allow God’s will to override our
will for our children neither God, or children, or we will be happy.
Why
did God wait until they were so old?: perhaps because
it takes incredible humility to
Offer your only child to God
Accept that your only child is going to appear to most
people as insane
Trust that God will take this strange character and do his
will
Our
Cultural attitude towards pregnancy- the contagious disease model
Presupposes
The disease can be caught by others
Controlling the spread of the disease can be accomplished by
public health means (avoiding certain places), personal means (handwashing), and vaccines.
Even with care, some people will get the disease through no
fault of their own
Treatments must be available for those who have it. The
treatments will hopefully eradicate it in those whom it is most dangerous
(infants, elderly)
How does this apply to pregnancy?
Pregnancy should be avoided by avoiding sex in certain
places (
What does it do to children who are born to realize they are the lucky
survivors of a horrible holocaust?
2002
Geography, area of residence of patient10,11=Canada13
|
Character- istics2,3,12,14 |
Number of induced abortions |
Rate of induced abortions per 1,000 females of same
age group |
Ratio of induced abortions per 100 live births |
Percent of conceptions aborted |
Proportion of induced abortions across age groups8 |
|
Age group2 |
|
||||
|
All ages4,9 |
105,154 |
14.9 |
32.1 |
24 |
••• |
|
Under 15 years6 |
337 |
1.7 |
295.6 |
75 |
0.3 |
|
15 to 19 years |
19,007 |
18.4 |
124.6 |
55 |
18.1 |
|
15 to 17 years |
6,381 |
10.4 |
142.5 |
59 |
6.1 |
|
18 to 19 years |
12,626 |
30.2 |
117.2 |
54 |
12.0 |
|
20 to 24 years |
32,371 |
30.8 |
57.3 |
36 |
30.8 |
|
25 to 29 years |
22,189 |
21.5 |
22.1 |
18 |
21.1 |
|
30 to 34 years |
15,981 |
14.4 |
15.9 |
14 |
15.2 |
|
35 to 39 years |
11,022 |
8.6 |
23.7 |
19 |
10.5 |
|
40 years and over7 |
4,230 |
3.2 |
49.0 |
33 |
4.0 |
Source: Statistics Canada
For example, for
every 100 children born to women age 18-19, there were 117 abortions.
That, in
Since we all live in this culture, we really can not know the exact effect- Here are two analogies:
In a sense it is like an unnatural gravity – we know gravity holds us down and makes us have weight, and so work is required. The abortion culture is so pervasive that it is like an extra gravitational load on our minds and souls. It flattens the weak, and weighs down all thought and moral thinking.
When you are living and breathing in
How does this apply to infants and
preschoolers?
v
Without the abortion culture, decisions about
childhood euthanasia for horrible diseases would seem simple- of course people would not
even consider it.
v
The infinite worth of a child would be more
obvious when weighing decisions about work. The insanity of choosing not to
have children would seem clearer.
v
We can get a hint of how this trauma of abortion
effects people by looking at what the trauma of losing sibs through earthquakes,
war, terrorists attacks, etc does to
people
v
They become anxious, depressed, hyperactive, hypervigalant and have other strange symptoms
Besides-We do know what happens to
children who later learn that their sibs were abused by their parents.
v
Imagine you have been in a (school, nursing
home, hospital) and later found out that half of the students or residents had
been murdered.
v
Worse still, imagine they had been murdered by
their own parents.
v
Worse yet, imagine it was your parents.
v
The miracle of birth starts with the miracle
that a child was conceived, and then not aborted chemically or physically.
RSV version
And when
And why is this granted me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For
behold, when the voice of your greeting came to my ears, the babe in my womb
leaped for joy. And blessed is she who
believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the
Lord."
And Mary said, "My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior
Modern Version
I am too old to have a child, and you are too young!
Even though we are not going to be bearing the messiah, we
are going to be parents of a potential saint: If we don’t have the same joy as
Elizabeth and Mary, we can not transmit that joy to our children.
How can we transmit this joy when
most of us have blood on our hands, so to speak, from the abortion culture?
How many have ever?
Had an abortion?
Said nothing about someone having one?
Dispensed, gave, or prescribed birth control medication?
Used products from abortions, Mumps and
rubella vaccines especially.
Allowed abortions to go on in their community and said
nothing?
To be good parents in these times,
most of us must change our ways:
You can not be a good catholic
parent without being vigorously against contraception and abortion.
Every “wanted”” child eventually figures out that they could
have easily been an “unwanted” child. And when they do, the parents must be
able to explain that either
1. They have never been part of this
Or
2. They were, and are now very sorry.
RSV version
And when the time came for their purification according to the law of Moses, they brought him up to
Modern Version
Since his father was working, Mary brought Jesus with her to
the purification.
Once
our children are born, they will be unlikely to become saints if they do not
have fathers.
Of course, if they have no mother, they most likely will be
quite disturbed.
Fathers must be as involved in their
faith as the mothers. They must give up other important, fun, and lucrative
activities to
Spend time praying
Go to church
Do family devotions
React to stress in their lives by going to blessed sacrament, daily mass
There is no other way for a person’s faith to endure past
childhood.
Who is the Father?
Ideally, the biological father but also A step father? Uncle? Consistent friend of the family to
single parents? Foster father? Coach? Catechism teacher?
All catholic men need to be very
generous with their fatherhood.
It is as desperately needed in our world as money, perhaps more. If you are a good father or Grandfather, and are not “fathering” almost daily, you are not being a good steward of one of your most precious gifts.
Conversely, father’s have a great potential for evil by leading their children astray.
Consciously or unconsciously, boys will follow in their father’s footsteps. By neglecting the primacy of their relationship with God and his church, Fathers warp good things for their children into idolatory.
The Father who always works warps the value of work
The father who is immersed in sports, warps the value of sport.
The father who is immersed in any
hobby, partying, etc, warps these goods and ruins these goods for their
children, ruins their relationship with their children, and teaches idolatory.
RSV
version
Matthew 1:13Then Herod, when
he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, was in a furious rage, and he
sent and killed all the male children in
Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord
appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Rise, take the child and his
mother, and flee to
[14] And he rose and took the
child and his mother by night, and departed to
Modern
Version
While many have made the analogy between the slaughter of the Holy
Innocents and abortion, it is just as apt to apply it like this:
Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise
men, was in a furious rage, ordered that all children at age two be given a
game boy, an x-box, a computer with high speed internet, and a TV in their bedroom, thus assuring
their destruction.
Video includes
TV, internet, game stations.
What does video do to the developing brain?
may
reprogram you to respond more quickly and impulsively
increases
rates of adhd, depression
what does it do to families?
No time for each other,worse academic performance,
worse health, more violence
All these are eclipsed by its ability to destroy the souls
of our children (and parents)
More important than prayer
For the most part, trumpets values opposite to Catholicism
such as:
Commercial TV encourages
consumption
TV makes normal activities look
fairly boring. (rosary on EWTN)
The idolatry of extremes on TV
makes it hard to see the glory in routine tasks, activities and relationships.
Since TV is visual, it is by
nature about action over reflection
Observing over participating
Since the most profound
experiences we have are not seen, the TV culture reduces them to feelings
(which can be seen)
So on TV, all forms of sexuality
look basically the same – two bodies together- implying that marital love,
premarital sex, homosexual relations, etc… all are really the same.
On TV, deep questions of existence
are impossible to portray, so they disappear, while preferences for different
objects, lifestyles, and possessions can be shown, and takes the place.
This doesn’t even take into account content.
By age 18, children in
91% of children are scared by the
violence on TV
TV is not that powerful, but since our children have such
a high exposure, it overwhelms all other influences. How powerful?
One year olds watch 6 hours of TV
/week
Under age 2 children -2.5
hours/day (20% of waking hours if 12 hours of sleep)
Age 2-17 watch 2.82 hours/d, 20% of their waking time.
Adults watch 4 hours/day
And, when you add computers and
video games to TV, American children
spend 4.75 hours a day, 20% of a 24 hour day, or considering they are awake for
14 hours a day, or 34% of their time with screen media.
On the other hand,
Time spent in important
conversation with children =5.5 min/day
Time spent reading with parents =
5.8 min/d
% of 4-6 yr old children who would
rather watch TV than spend time with their fathers 54%
And video games?
The pace of games is not real.
There is no room for reflection.
The mass is the opposite of a
game. The mass appears fairly bland and has infinite meaning. A game appears
more real than life and is meaningless.
Ever met a youth who was really
into games and very active in the church?
Games are built to be addictive. Yet preschoolers don’t know
what this is. They become addicted and do not realize it is not normal
behavior.
They do not distinguish games from reality. If games are
their reality, there will be no room in their reality for the church.
At this age (preschool) there is absolutely no role for them
. The good is clearly outweighed by the bad. “Educational games”are a gateway drug.
What to do as a parent of preschoolers?
Never play games.
Never allow games on your computer.
Never allow you preschoolers to be on the computer.
And the internet?
Unlike TV, video games, most people can not live “internet-free” lives but need to responsibly use internet. The church has given us advice on how to manage desires which can be natural or unnatural, temperate or gluttonous.
The gluttony of the internet-
Excessive consumption of facts, figures, pictures and stories
The licentiousness of the internet-
Forming inappropriate relationships
The idolatory of the internet
Living in an unreal world with virtual friends, experiences,
and emotions leads to unhappiness since we are corporal.
RSV Version
Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord
appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Rise, take the child and his
mother, and flee to
[14] And he rose and took the
child and his mother by night, and departed to
Modern Version
Joseph sent Mary and Jesus to
Attachment-
The clinical word that describes the nature of the bond
between parents and infants
Jesus had a secure attachment- his parents, even though not
biologic, raised him in a consistent, loving way.
The child implicitly learned
the
father and mother can always be counted on
the mother and father will protect
you and care for you and feed you
the mother loves the father before
you were made
later- after age 2-
even if you are bad, the parents
will love you
even if the parents can not be
seen, they are there.
In summary, the world, although dangerous has a safe haven.
Although there are strangers, your parents are always with
you.
Jesus had a good attachment to Joseph, even though he was
not his biologic father.
What leads to poor attachment?
Neglect, abuse, psychiatrically ill
parents, large number of caregivers, no safety, multiple partners. In
other societies- extreme poverty
Without good attachment, it is almost impossible to know
God. How can we understand, God is our father if we never had one?
How can we understand the love within the Trinity if we have
never seen a loving Community of Persons?
How can we believe Genesis that all God created is good if
we have never been safe?
Some of the most famous atheists had poor attachment?
What is the best prevention for
attachment problems?
Marry someone of the opposite sex for life.
Understand that you are teaching the child about creation,
the Trinity, and love every moment.
RSV version
And when they had performed everything according to the law
of the Lord, they returned into
Modern Version
And his parents tried not to influence him overly so that he
could find his own way.
Firm
and consistent parents are the foundation for understanding and appreciating
the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
What is the Catechism?
A summary of what Catholics believe
A true authority that we can trust is accurate, even if we
don’t “personally agree” with it.
A rational explanation for our faith.
A guide for a happy life from a church
that truly desires us to be happy.
How are parents of preschoolers the
first catechism?
Source of all wisdom
Unquestionable authority, even when they don’t like it
Powerful
Trustworthy-
Examples
How do we understand what authority”
means?
An authority is someone who you know
speaks the truth all the time, and is not influenced by others.
Good Example
If a child knows from preschool that his parents are
consistent, and concerned with his best interest, the child can trust that when
the father or mother says, if you turn that TV on right now, you will be going
to bed at 7:30 for the rest of the week” this will actually happen. He has
learned that if he turns on the TV, he really will be sent to bed early. He
also knows that even if he complains about this, it will not change the
reality. However, he also knows that even if he does turn it on, his parents
will still love him.
This implicitly teaches the child that there are things
which are true, and it doesn’t matter whether we like them or not, they are
still true. Likewise, the child can not change them.
If this same child grown up reads that the Host truly is the
body, blood, soul and divinity of Christ, then he or she will know that this
can be trusted to be true because he has an internal model of what truth is
from his parents.
Bad Example
After hearing the rule about not turning on the TV, the
child does it anyways, finds out that his parent only yells at him, but the punishment
is forgotten the next day or finds out that when he turns on the TV, the
reaction is, “do you want to end up in a foster home- get out of here!”
Later, in RCIA class, this now grown child has a hard time understanding that swearing is really wrong, but also can not really believe that confession can cover all sins, and no matter how clearly the argument is made to her, she still doesn’t get it.
v
One of the best ways for the Devil to undermine
our faith, is to undermine our understanding of reason
and rationality.
How do parents undermine reason?
Inconsistent, as noted above
Confuse the role of friend, lover, and parent
Contradict each other
Never respect any authority themselves.
Sexuality- the problem of cultural hypersexuality
Definition for this talk : Hypersexuality is
excessive Sexual arousal and sexual activity
How you can make people sexual at
any age?
By exposing them to sexual behavior, arousing them, and
encouraging it.
How do we do this?
Exposing
them to sexual behavior
Abuse, witnessed abuse – most common in step families,
poorly parented children, substance abuse, runs in families.
Arousal
Two paths to increased arousal
Increased response to stimuli
Some disorders in neuropsychiatry are characterized by
extreme responses to minimal sexual stimulation –slides, chairs, etc
Increased level of stimuli, but normal otherwise
Print Media, TV\movies, Video Games, internet
Allow dress in prepubescent females which is inappropriate,
provocative dress in
both male and female teenagers and adults.
Allow sexuality to pour out of the bedroom into our speech,
spare time, jokes, dress
Hasten this
Encouraging
sexual behavior
By encouraging sexuality before puberty, you are already
disconnecting procreation from sexual behaviors.
Adding adolescent hormone levels to a sexually supercharged
culture makes it very difficult to accept the catholic
church’s view of sexuality, especially for non-virgins who are already
primed for sexual response.
Developmental stages
Developmental
stages become broader and more variable with age.
Brain
development is best seen as metamorphosis rather than progress.
The fact
that the environment can rewire your brain puts many older developmental
theories in question.
Each person goes through different stages as they grow from
embryo to fetus to infant to child to adolescent to adult. To develop into a normal adult, you must
successfully get through each stage. In a sense, in each stage a person has a
body, mind, and personality with a different set of strengths and weaknesses.
People are most a like in the earliest stages.
If you do not meet a person’s
developmental needs, someone or something else will.
Pre-birth development-
most of us are exposed to the same
environment, so genetic influences are the greatest, thus we can make excellent
predictions of what people will be like at say, 18 weeks.
Strengths-
the
symphony of development
Weakness-
toxins in environment such as
alcohol, smoke, some drugs, some
infections, poor nutrition can change your
personality
Smoking produces children who are more violent
Alcohol reduces IQ, makes you less inhibited
Birth
to age 5
Benchmarks-
Also, issues of authority, fatherhood, safety,
and attachment as noted above
Learning is
based on using the five senses, not reasoning.
All can use an object to symbolize a real thing. All can pretend to be
another person they have seen or met. About 75% can concentrate on a story
being read to them with pictures. One half will not be able to print or cut
with scissors. Only a few can draw well enough to convey a message. Thinking is completely concrete so figures of
speech are usually misinterpreted. None
are able to see something from someone else’s perspective. Magical thinking
pervades their understanding. Attention span for difficult work is about 4-5
minutes.
Strengths
-manipulating their environment by themselves
and mastery of oral language.
Weakness-
They will
believe anything.
Teaching requirements
- about 6
activities per half hour and a huge amount of preparation time using felt
pictures, figurines, dolls, puppets, and costumes.
Pitfalls
- programs
are usually aimed at the top 10% who have a longer attention span and good
enough fine motor coordination to cut and draw.
Spiritual questions –
What or who
made us? Is it a good or a bad force?
Challenges-
How do we
separate Mary, Jesus, and the Trinity from other figures in their lives with
magical powers? How do you show children this who don’t
understand reason? Keep sexual stimuli to a mnimum.
Bad Spiritual outcomes
Training for a pantheon of Gods. The all powerful forces are a mishmash of
every children’s show, video game, and movie. Who is
the strongest? Spiderman. Who is the smartest? Who
really loves you?
Teaching
Catholicism rather than being Catholicism begins an artificial separation of being and believing that
will anesthetize their faith in later years.
Age 5-7
Benchmarks
Learning is now based on reasoning, but the
reasoning must be with concrete objects. Nevertheless, they really can’t deal
with multiple causes. None can deal with hypothetical situations. 90% will be
able to read some words and make all the letters. Attention span is 5 to 10
minutes. 90% can cut out a pattern. 50% can draw well enough to be understood,
90% can listen to a story with pictures, and 50% can listen to a story without
pictures. 50% will have a best friend. 75% can tell you what is "not
real" on TV. About 50% can understand the metaphor "God is our
Father". 90% can do show and tell. Most still can not predict how someone
with false information or beliefs might act in a task. (theory
of the mind)
Strengths
labeling,
numbering, categorizing. Rule based games and activities
Weakness
What you
show them, they will believe. Conclusions based on input from five senses
counts much more than thinking.
Teaching requirements
3 activities per half-hour,
reading picture books, cut out, paste, and color.
Pitfalls
activities
that require reading or drawing well enough to communicate an idea. Getting lost in the details instead of the essentials of
Catholicism.
Spiritual questions
How do we communicate with God? What are the
attributes of God? What is our attitude to God? (fear/hate/love/praise).
Can we be God or be with God?
Challenges-
How can you
teach the nature of God in a culture of apostasy and incredulity?
Ideas –
Saints and
heroes a la Pokemon or other collecting cards
Bad Spiritual Outcomes
None of
this building, collecting, and game playing has anything to do with the Church
or religion. The collections take the place of God, and they begin to evangelize
about how they always have a friend with them wherever they go: ?gameboy?
Ages 7-10
Benchmarks
90% can
read picture books. By age 10, 75% can read chapter books. All can coherently
explain events that happened in a movie. 90% can converse with peers without
props. 90% can draw well enough to communicate a concept. All want a best
friend; most will have made a play date.
Most of social contact comes from outside home. 90% will be able to
explain that different families have different rules. 90% can distinguish
fantasy from reality. Most can understand metaphor but very few can understand
simile or parable. Most can do problem solving and reasoning with concrete
objects, but none can with hypothetical ones. About a 15 min
attention span.
Strengths
mastering the
concrete world through creation, categorization, and oral language.
Weakness
A tendency
to think that mastering the concrete world means mastering everything.
Teaching requirements
simple
books, lots of crafts (sacramentals), concrete stories of the bible.
Pitfalls
Over
reliance on reading and themes that require abstract thought
Sugar
coating the church to make it nicer makes it quite dull, especially the old testament, lives of the saints.
Spiritual questions –
What is the
story of God's involvement with man? Who are the heroes and enemies? What
happens when we die? How do we please God?
Challenges - How can we devise interesting
creative experiences which can rival video games?
Ideas –
making
decoupage icons using wood and prints of icons.
Reading
Bethlehem books
children’s novels to the child and other stories of the saints
Bad
Spiritual Outcomes
While at a
friends house or school or via other media, they are introduced to some very
strange ideas, which, even though they do not understand how, are changing
their world view.
Understanding that spelling and church are similar: necessary but boring
chores.
On the
other hand, other exciting things take the place of the Church, rather than
complement their faith: sports, video games, ?
Age 11-14
RSV Version
After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among
the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions; and all who heard him were amazed at
his understanding and his answers. And when they saw him they were astonished;
and his mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your
father and I have been looking for you anxiously." And he said to them,
"How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my
Father's house?" And they did not
understand the saying which he spoke to them.
And he went down with them and came to
Modern Version
After three days, the RCMP located him and called his
parents and Family and Children’s Services.
Benchmarks
Memory
increases, as does speed of processing, as a result,
people can hold alternative choices in their minds and think about them with
greater and greater ease. 90% can read chapter books, 90% can do any craft a
teacher devises. All will know if they are popular or not. 90% will be able to
explain sexual intercourse. 10-20% will have tried cigarettes. All will have
had heavy exposure to relativism - the view that what is right for me may not
be right for you. 90% can discuss abstract ideas if tied to real life
situations. 90% can understand parables. None can understand the implications
of their relativism and how it differs from Christianity unless it is tied to
examples. Rebellion against family rules.
Strengths –
understanding the opinions of others, knowing where they fit in a peer group and
reading social situations. Understand the world through reading.
Weakness
Tendency to forget who they are in their preoccupation to fit in or
reject other peers and parents.
Teaching requirements
books and media that
relate to peer issues, lots of discussion, teachers who can discuss and defend
church teachings.
Spiritual questions
How do I deal with being in an unpopular
religion? What do I do about the unpopular parts of my religion? What does my
religion teach about being popular? Will this religion make me unpopular?
Challenges –
How can we
use their brilliance in reading social cues to strengthen their faith? How can
you teach essential philosophy (relativism vs. absolutism) to a group who can
not easily understand abstract concepts that are not tied to their lives?
Ideas
adventure and service
groups ala cadets and scouts. Stories of all the rebellious parts of church
history, St. Francis of
Bad Spiritual Outcomes
Adults can
not explain Catholicism; not the beliefs, the practices, the reasons, and
instead rely on parental authority: You must believe because I said so.
So
rebellion against parents also becomes a rebellion against the church.
The antidote?
The Compendium Catechism of the Catholic Church
A
compilation of catholic teaching that is auth
orative and not watered down.
With teens,
this is a great tool for:
Devotions
Mediating
disputes
Answering
the myriads of questions teens have about religion, philosophy, ethics, etc.
A clear
source of answers uninfluenced by parents
A chance for teens to read themselves and prove to their parents how
little the parents really know.
Age 15-17
Benchmarks –
far
greater variance in normal development becomes apparent. Adult
level language skills, able to understand abstract concepts as long as they are
related to them. Many will have difficulty understanding abstract
concepts not linked to their lives (i.e. how do we know what is true?) Most are
very self-oriented. All have been exposed 1st or 2nd hand
to common drugs, most sexual practices, minor property
crimes. 25% will have similar exposure to violent crime. Rebellion against
society begins.
Strengths
intense relationships with peers, authorities, and
hopefully, God.
Weakness
untempered Enthusiasm which leads to poorly
thought out decisions
Teaching requirements –
very thorough
knowledge of faith, Socratic method. You will know the compendium inside out.
Spiritual Questions
- Is my
religion right? How do I deal with hypocrisy in my religion? How do I deal with
what I don’t agree with in my religion? How important is religion for me?
Challenges
how can we make their
relationship with Christ intense, exciting, and lasting?
Ideas
- intense - retreats and pilgrimages to far off and
interesting places.
- exciting
- In the middle of the woods build a log chapel to St. Kateri
Tekakwitha and have an all night adoration of the
Blessed Sacrament for the group.
Bad Spiritual Outcomes
If you have
no idea of the reasons for your religion, religions which are not reasonable
will tempt you: Eastern religions
If your
religion is totally boring, you will find something to believe in that is more
exciting ranging from charismatic sects to celebrities
If you have
no religion, you will may find something worse to
believe in: sex, drugs, money, possessions, friends, family, etc. These are all
far more exciting for a few years at least than the church.
Age 18-21+
Benchmarks –
variance
in development becomes so great as to defy generalizations. However - rebellion
against society becomes more important.
Strengths –
boundless
energy, idealism, desire for a mission.
Spiritual questions
Sadly, for many – they do not realize there
are any spiritual questions. How can I
make a difference? How can I show that we are different? How can I show that I
am not just like my (family, community, parish, etc.)?
Ideas
get a list of all the
abortions done in the last ten years in your community and then turn a field
into a cemetery with a white cross with the year for each abortion.
Bad Spiritual Outcomes
Not realizing that they
are looking for an answer to spiritual questions, they keep searching for
fulfilment without knowing why they are looking.
Turning things around
The longer a child has
been in the spiritual wilderness,
The longer
it will take to turn things around.
The more
time it will require each day with that child to turn things around.
The more
they will test you and your beliefs
The more
time you will have to be at prayer and mass!
The worse
the child will do in the long run if you only try half way.
The more
they will rebel when you try to change them and their environment.